Spelling it out
June 11th, 2009
Dear Betsy
I was at a wedding last weekend, and since I didn’t know anyone, had to pass the time before the bride arrived by eavesdropping on the conversation raging between the groom’s mother’s friends behind me. One referred to the bride’s mother’s outfit as being ’somewhat MDL’, while the usher I thought was rather cute was apparently ‘HKLP’.
What does this mean? I was far too embarrassed to ask in case it was very obvious.
love,
Lucy
Dear Lucy
Teens didn’t invent text speak with all that LOL and ROFLMAO business. The English middle classes have been at it for years, with a cunning code that allows them to be horribly bitchy without appearing rude - bitchiness being fine, but rudeness being inexcusable, natch.
MDL stands for Mutton Dressed As Lamb’ - ouch. And HKLP is that old snobby favourite, Holds Knife Like Pen, although how they could work that out merely from seeing the poor man standing there in a cravat, I have no idea. Others you should listen out for, should you ever find yourself marooned behind two such ladies again…
PLU - people like us, ie, people who carry Waitrose jute bags rather than Tescos, and have a car park pass from Cheltenham Races/Glyndebourne/Cartier Polo/Goodwood Revival Meeting still stuck ostentatiously on the windscreen of their Range Rover. PLU, interestingly, are usually slightly posher than the people who think they are like them.
NFI - not effing invited. Usually delivered in a tone of modest regret that only just disguises the roiling social fury. I was once asked how I was getting to a wedding in Scotland; I replied, ‘Oh, NFI!’ in what I hoped was a jovial manner, to which the askee said, ‘Oh, is that one of those new budget airlines?’ The bride was sitting next to us. She tried to ‘I’ me at that point, but I pretended I was going to Cheltenham/Cartier Polo, etc.
NQTD - not quite top drawer. The social chest of drawers is a complicated thing, it would seem. The top drawer presumably has room for the Queen and Prince Charles only, while the middle three encompass all of Gloucestershire, Oxfordshire and significant portions of Chelsea.
FCNK - fur coat, no knickers. I’ve never seen the problem with this and would take it as a compliment.
Any more for any more?
love, Betsy